Dear BMW,

"Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire" (arch-duke-maxyenko) 09/22/2020 at 11:32 • Filed to: None

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Please re-hire this man.

Nibby > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 09/22/2020 at 11:44

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YOU GET A WHALE

ST80MND > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 09/22/2020 at 11:48

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Dear BMW: WTF is up with you’re Instagram? Of all the great vehicles in the lineup, why o why is all the content the most boring x3's and x5's with grandma going to the shops? Why o why do you continually push products that are distinctly NOT the ultimate driving machine? Do you not care about all the things that made you great? Would you rather trade a proud driving legacy and quality for a small market share of folks who really just wanted another towncar?

VIVA La E30!

Also, why is you’re blinker fluid so expensive? And every time I put the car in park, it just sits there. Why won’t it park!? This feature has been broken since day 1.

davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 09/22/2020 at 11:55

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That ship has sailed, sadly.

Look at the two of us: ex-BMW owners that moved on to a Chevy , of all things! LOL

Tripper > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 09/22/2020 at 12:17

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New BMW’s exist...

Me:

Daily Drives a Dragon - One Last Lap > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 09/22/2020 at 12:17

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It’s really just disgusting. 

Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire > davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com 09/22/2020 at 12:26

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Non-uggo designs and a SBC make the world a better place

PatBateman > davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com 09/22/2020 at 12:44

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*Holden

PatBateman > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 09/22/2020 at 12:47

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Nope. Embrace your new nostril overlord. Accept the current German design benchmark. This is progress in the eyes of the Bayerische Motorenwerke.

Now go and spend gobs of money buying what they’re selling you.  GO DO IT NOW AND LOVE IT.

Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire > PatBateman 09/22/2020 at 12:50

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DAS Übermensch

Full of the sound of the Gran Fury, signifying nothing. > davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com 09/22/2020 at 12:51

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My dad and I were long-time BMW owners, but he now drives a Chevy and I drive a Mazda. I can’t see either of us buying another new one. It doesn’t surprise me that everyone of driving age in my sister’s household drives a new BMW - leased, of course.

People don’t change much but brands do. I remember the days when seemingly half the letters in   Car and Driver were from people complaining that the staff was on BMW’s payroll, but these days I see BMW finishing third in a three car comparison. Like a lot of brands, they were fine in their day. I couldn’t see myself in a newer Mercedes or Audi either as the things that interested me in these brands in the first place are no longer of interest to them (handling/ride balance, solidity, reliability, understated elegance ), or so it seems.

Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire > PatBateman 09/22/2020 at 12:51

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Well, mine’s a Chevy

ClassicDatsunDebate > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 09/22/2020 at 13:05

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This is my favorite German/Japanese colab by a long shot.

DasWauto > Tripper 09/22/2020 at 13:09

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I need to rewatch this movie. Queuing that up for tonight. 

Stef Schrader > Daily Drives a Dragon - One Last Lap 09/22/2020 at 13:33

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These just look like Some Car with an ugly nose. So generic everywhere except that hideous freaking face. 

Van Hooydonk deserves to be yeeted into Antarctica without a sketchpad. Maybe BMW will get the hint when no one buys it.

davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com > PatBateman 09/22/2020 at 13:43

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YES.

davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com > Full of the sound of the Gran Fury, signifying nothing. 09/22/2020 at 13:48

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I came from a Mazda before the M3. The only one that interests me now is the M2C. Sad!

Exactly - the old reasons for buying a BMW are no longer there. A base E90 or prior 3-series was a solid, nimble, fun little car with a sweetheart motor, RWD, great steering feel, and a manual. Now? Ugh...

RallyDarkstrike - Fan of 2-cyl FIATs, Eastern Bloc & Kei cars > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 09/22/2020 at 15:10

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Agreed....I am not a BMW ‘guy’ to begin with, but the old ones looked very nice and the new ones are just.....well, they’re something...

MUSASHI66 > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 09/22/2020 at 15:19

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Did he design the E90 sedan? If so, please don’t hire him back. 

Daily Drives a Dragon - One Last Lap > Stef Schrader 09/22/2020 at 16:38

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I mean that’s my complaint about the 8 series as well. It’s not distinctive at all except for the (admittedly far more reasonable) BMW corporate face. It looks like the old Genesis Coupe.

And unfortunately, I have a feeling these will sell because buyers have zero taste. 

Stef Schrader > Daily Drives a Dragon - One Last Lap 09/22/2020 at 20:21

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I didn’t mind the 8er, but I really only enjoyed it because of Big M8. (See? Racing DOES help a car’s perception!)

But yeah: Some people will buy anything, even a less fun to drive, more bloated, hideous BMW that’s the ultimate retina-hurting machine.

pip bip - choose Corrour > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 09/22/2020 at 21:17

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agreed